in limbo

i wish i had a job.
sort of.
i definitely need one, but why can't i get myself into gear?

i'm too distracted & i'm thinking it has more to do with my town than anything. i'm aware that my "cruise" as so many like to call it, has certainly altered my views on things; but being stuck here is the worst thing for me. its so easy to slip in to old habits, to feel like i did before i left.

i'm ready for a change of pace and i have no means for such a change.

i suppose it could be said that i'm in limbo. its been nice to have a break; but down time is no good for my brain.. i tend to fixate and obsess over the smallest details and lose sight of the big picture. maybe thats why i don't sleep anymore.

i know i sound rather whiney, i just can't seem to break it! i need a project to work on, things to do, someone to call me back for a job! i'll surely lose my mind if i don't get myself busy again.