14 June 2009
01 June 2009
in limbo
sort of.
i definitely need one, but why can't i get myself into gear?
i'm too distracted & i'm thinking it has more to do with my town than anything. i'm aware that my "cruise" as so many like to call it, has certainly altered my views on things; but being stuck here is the worst thing for me. its so easy to slip in to old habits, to feel like i did before i left.
i'm ready for a change of pace and i have no means for such a change.
i suppose it could be said that i'm in limbo. its been nice to have a break; but down time is no good for my brain.. i tend to fixate and obsess over the smallest details and lose sight of the big picture. maybe thats why i don't sleep anymore.
i know i sound rather whiney, i just can't seem to break it! i need a project to work on, things to do, someone to call me back for a job! i'll surely lose my mind if i don't get myself busy again.
11 May 2009
back in the usa
but,
can i go back now?
what's the next port? is it almost on-ship time?
i'm having trouble adjusting. more coherent thoughts later, off to do some very southbury things: starbucks & movies. so exciting, sort of.
06 May 2009
disembarkation
the day has come; time to leave the ship.
had just over an hour of sleep last night (er, this morning) and spent every possible second enjoying the sunshine, the salt air, the stars, the moon and the good company. played silly games, listened to the boys play guitar and snuggled in blankets under the beautiful night sky.
saw mom from the ship; the strangest feeling. tears of joy and tears of sadness, all at once.
off to soak in the last moments together; should be off the ship around 12.
goodbye, mv explorer.
05 May 2009
last night
its our very last night on the mv explorer and there won't be any sleep tonight. we'll be in fort lauderdale around 0800 tomorrow and our sea is expected to be off around 12 or so. then its a day in florida and a flight home thursday. how time flies!
off to swap photos, watch movies and spend time with some of my best friends.
love love love
the last day of school
he who returns from the journey
is not the same as he who left
-chinese proverb
it feels like the last day of school.
the sun shines, drawing people outside to marvel at the ocean. sundresses and nice shirts are the outfit of choice; as if the small effort to dress up makes the day a little more special.
bags are stuffed to the brim, overflowing with memories from the world around. the dress from spain, the scarves from india, the embroidery from guatemala. lining the hallways, the ship seems smaller, making it not only difficult to walk but difficult to grasp the concept of the end.
a break from traditional routines, one last assembly. special meals and snacks are prepared; its as if we are having our class picnic. the decks will be crowded tonight, as everyone tries to take in just one last sunset, to relish the ocean's breeze and to breathe in the salt air.
cameras are everywhere, trying to take in every last image. pictures may be worth a thousand words, though a thousand words may never adequately describe the emotions coursing through ship, like caffeine running through the veins.
a sense of finality; this is it. a nervous energy, trepidation, anticipation. determined not to leave eachothers sides, clusters of friends move from space to space, finding it hard to acknowledge the reality of tomorrow.
108 days spent together is not many in the course of a lifetime; though for all of the experiences and time spent together, one would think we've always been here. the ease of interactions, the unspoken understanding.
our minds are full, our bags overflowing, hearts bursting; the thrill of the summer ahead & seeing those from home is nearly overshadowed by a cloud of uncertainty; when will we see each other again? how are we supposed to describe this experience to others?
when words, photos, and anecdotes fail, how will we share our stories?
